"What I find fascinating is how the dating apps are changing modern dating-dynamics, with implications for the already declining birth rates. Essentially, they're making women really picky. In short: a small number of male profiles monopolise most of the female likes and messages on the apps, while the majority of male profiles are rejected by the majority of women. For casual encounters, this is great for the lucky men who are very tall, attractive, not-bald and in good jobs - but in a monogamous society it will have significant consequences. Lots of women risk timing-out of fertility because as they enter their 30s, their appeal to the 'top' male profiles plummets, and yet throughout their 20s they'll have been completely inundated by likes and messages, creating super high standards. And then there will still be men who will happily mess them around for casual stuff, but with zero intention of marriage - why as a 'top' male profile would you marry a 34 year old if you wanted kids, if you could instead marry a 26/26 year old. It sounds harsh, but I'm seeing this happen in real-time - my good-looking male friends (30/31) are swamped with likes and attention of women in their mid 30s, but only go on dates with under 30s. My female friends complain of how awful men are and how no one wants to commit (i.e. they're being messed around by the top 5-10% of men who are leading them on with no intention of marriage). In a weird way they are sort of recreating what was the norm in primitive human societies for 10,000s of years - polygamous dynamics with a small number of men reproducing with most men falling short. A few bits of evidence - there's a lot more out there, a lot of it fairly informal analysis but all finding the same pattern:
- An OkCupid study found that women find 80% of men unattractive on dating apps (1)
- "Men tend to like a large proportion of the women they view but receive only a tiny fraction of matches in return—just 0.6 percent. Women use the opposite strategy. They are far more selective about who they like but have a much higher matching rate of about 10 percent." (2)
- "Out of 100 profile views, a male user likes 35 profiles and skips 65 while a female user likes only four and skips 96 profiles, according to an internal survey by dating app QuackQuack." (3)
Are there groups working for common sense porn regulation I can donate to?
It’s weird that in this “post-liberal” moment, this particular liberal pathology gets so little attention. I’m a liberal, even libertarian in some things, but antisocial destructive vices cry out for regulation and harm reduction. Yet that’s the ignored stepchild of conservative policy right now. The one part of conservatism I would sign on to.
Women have become far too demanding. The "man in finance, trust fund, 6'5, blue eyes" meme went viral for a reason. As someone commented on a Financial Times story last year (www.ft.com/content/2969249f-f54b-4697-b9b5-48ab7daeb7ac?commentID=c813ddeb-30b6-4a6a-989b-0591fd9f812b):
"What I find fascinating is how the dating apps are changing modern dating-dynamics, with implications for the already declining birth rates. Essentially, they're making women really picky. In short: a small number of male profiles monopolise most of the female likes and messages on the apps, while the majority of male profiles are rejected by the majority of women. For casual encounters, this is great for the lucky men who are very tall, attractive, not-bald and in good jobs - but in a monogamous society it will have significant consequences. Lots of women risk timing-out of fertility because as they enter their 30s, their appeal to the 'top' male profiles plummets, and yet throughout their 20s they'll have been completely inundated by likes and messages, creating super high standards. And then there will still be men who will happily mess them around for casual stuff, but with zero intention of marriage - why as a 'top' male profile would you marry a 34 year old if you wanted kids, if you could instead marry a 26/26 year old. It sounds harsh, but I'm seeing this happen in real-time - my good-looking male friends (30/31) are swamped with likes and attention of women in their mid 30s, but only go on dates with under 30s. My female friends complain of how awful men are and how no one wants to commit (i.e. they're being messed around by the top 5-10% of men who are leading them on with no intention of marriage). In a weird way they are sort of recreating what was the norm in primitive human societies for 10,000s of years - polygamous dynamics with a small number of men reproducing with most men falling short. A few bits of evidence - there's a lot more out there, a lot of it fairly informal analysis but all finding the same pattern:
- An OkCupid study found that women find 80% of men unattractive on dating apps (1)
- "Men tend to like a large proportion of the women they view but receive only a tiny fraction of matches in return—just 0.6 percent. Women use the opposite strategy. They are far more selective about who they like but have a much higher matching rate of about 10 percent." (2)
- "Out of 100 profile views, a male user likes 35 profiles and skips 65 while a female user likes only four and skips 96 profiles, according to an internal survey by dating app QuackQuack." (3)
Footnotes:
1 - goodmenproject.com/featured-content/women-say-80-of-men-are-below-average/
2 - www.technologyreview.com/2016/07/15/158803/how-tinder-feedback-loop-forces-men-and-women-into-extreme-strategies/
3 - economictimes.indiatimes.com/magazines/panache/the-math-behind-dating-apps-women-like-only-4-out-of-100-profiles-men-more-likely-to-swipe-right/articleshow/75736043.cms"
Porn is easy, quick and free. As a YouTube commenter pithily noted recently:
"Ladies, you've been lied to: (a) you can't have it all; (b) you've overplayed your hand; (c) I really hope you like cats."
I am sad as a woman that you didnt include sex trafficking and the normalization of violence against women as why porn Is bad.
Are there groups working for common sense porn regulation I can donate to?
It’s weird that in this “post-liberal” moment, this particular liberal pathology gets so little attention. I’m a liberal, even libertarian in some things, but antisocial destructive vices cry out for regulation and harm reduction. Yet that’s the ignored stepchild of conservative policy right now. The one part of conservatism I would sign on to.
We should legalize prostitution. You can look forward to at least having more to write about.
I cracked up at the link to a review of social science evidence at “chastity.org”.
The attempt at 1000 in one day is the Evel Knieval Grand Canyon jump of porn.